Yesterday, I had another successful trip out as Susan. Having told Bridget, I had no worries about being caught, but she was on nights, which meant she wasn't back by the time I left.

This time, I wore my red strappy top, a long blue skirt and red wedge shoes. SA was fun as usual and afterwards ended up chatting to a trio of women (Becks, Liz and the one whose name you never get). Becks is a careers officer, and got me to talk about a lot of personal stuff. We spent so much time talking that we got thrown out as they needed to set up for the next event.

After that I wended my way to Vivien of Holloway, where I tried on a number of dresses. Unfortunately, most of their dresses were too small in the waist by, literally, half an inch, and the waist was so high, it hit the rib cage, so no hope there. This may have been a blessing in disguise, as I only purchased one dress, rather than the entire shop.

VivienHolloway1 VivienHolloway3

A couple of times, customers mistook me for one of the staff - apparently my outfit fitted in quite well, and even after I corrected them, they did not seem to notice I was male!!! No one even seemed to have issues with me popping on and out of the changing booth.

The last visit of the day was to Spitalfields, where one person recognised me from when Simon had purchased a clutch bag from her. Another suggested that I pop into the charging room to try on a skirt.

This is what confuses me. Does Susan pass that well, or does no one care? OK, Spitalfields is a market, but the customers at VoH had no such motive, and Becks did not seem to notice. If nothing else, I would have expected questions.

Finally home, with minor sore feet, but no major issues. There was one minor scare when I saw mums car outside, but this was just Bridget borrowing it while she was on holiday.
A few Saturdays back, I got mugged by Susan while walking through Victoria station. Metaphorically speaking, she grabbed me by the neck, and slammed me up against the wall. This was triggered by the usual things - the sight of several women in the sort of clothes that I want to wear. This seems to happen quite a lot there.

I know what she wants. To be normal. To go out, to get out, to buy new shoes and a dress, and to spend the night out on the town, dancing and drinking and having fun. To live, not just the high life, but the ordinary life. All the things I don't do.

The problem is, she's expensive. Not really in money, but in time. She can't come out at home, which means that I have to do things like arrange places to change, and getting stuff there, and planning in advance. This means that she cannot do small or spontaneous things, but only planned stuff.

Can I reduce the fixed costs of Susan? How do I reduce the fixed costs of Susan?

Places that Susan can come out to play:

* Home. Not really worth it. While the family know, they've never seen Susan, and it's probably a bad idea to introduce her at this late a stage. Also, what's the point? All the fun is in being out and about.

* Work. Not the best idea. Actually, I might get away with this - one of the big bosses is more than cool about it, but I'm not sure how the rest of work would react :)

* Conventions. The DiscWorld convention is coming up in August, and I'm pretty sure that Susan will spend some time there, but I'm not sure that it's soon enough to save me from injury. Unfortunately, this clashes with 9 worlds Geek Fest, which would also have been a very good place to go.

* London. There is quite a lot of stuff that she could do in London, some TG / gay related, and some normal stuff. One obvious thing is the Sunday Assembly, having been preceded by theatre and disco.

* Brighton. Pretty stereotypical, and I'm not sure that there is really enough to keep us going for the weekend.

* Elsewhere?
I never know what to do about Susan. There are three obvious options that I can do - kill her off, let her out very occasionally on high days and holidays, or really let her out to play.

Killing her probably wouldn't be that easy - she's been with me, for good or for ill, for over three decades, and has never been far away for all that time. I may have ignored her for long periods but she never really been gone from my mind.

Currently, Susan gets very few chances to get out - it mostly appears to be the DWCon. I regret missing the chance for Nine Worlds, since it was the sort of thing that was aimed at her. (Naturally, next years clashed precisely with the DWCon, so she won't be going to that either).

Taking her out more often is a bit of issue, as she cannot really appear at home (even if Bridget has not issues,, she will inevitably mention it to Mum, and Mum interferes so), and the walk into town would be a massive pain.

This means that anything I do would have to be an arranged event, but what can I do where Susans presence would add to the moment? For most things, the important part is being there, part of the experience, and I'm not sure how much Susan would add to it - possibly the more formal occasions where you go all out formal with the posh dress, etc.


May. 19th, 2013 10:25 pm
A few more of my drawings
Yesterday, I had this idea for a little cultural "thing", that might work quite well in the more bohemian areas of London. I call it "The Drawing Room".

It's a rather literal name, as it's basically a room, with good natural light, where you can go, just to sit down and draw stuff, while around other people who just want to draw. To spice it up a bit, there would be a couple of object on display, so people could have something to draw. These would be changed on a daily basis, so there would always be something new to draw. The object could vary between a vase, a statue, a piece on clothing on a mannequin, etc,

This could be run by one of the London museums, or somewhere similar. If they stuck it by the coffee shop, and had art materials on sale (sponsored by one of the art shops?), it might even turn out to be reasonably profitable. Alternatively a coffe shop / cafe could run this a few times a month,  as a semi-social event. There is something called Dr Sketchy ( , but I get the feeling that that is more hardcore rather than a drop in / social scene thing.

Job hunt

Feb. 7th, 2013 12:25 pm
Having got stuck for hours on the train, I'm getting sick of the commute. Can anyone recommend any good job sites for a quick look?
I have finally gotten the point to where I am going to have to look for a new job. This one is getting so frustrating - nothing new, I'm not learning new stuff, and the commute is *so* bad that I'm tempted to buy a car or a motorbike just to get avoid the multiple trains journeys involved. It's also got to the point where I'm considering strangling all three of my cow-orkers. The big boss is currently on holiday, so he gets to survive.

The only question is what to do? Well, the first thing is obvious, find a new job, but what sort of a job? I'm pretty much struck with software engineering, it's about all the skills I have, and, most of the time, I enjoy it.

I think I should ignore my current skill set when choosing what I want, as I'm egotistical enough to think I can learn anything I need to learn, but what do I want?
Read more... )
I think I have finally come up with my new years resolution: "Do awesome shit".

So what awesome shit should I do?

DW con 2012

Sep. 2nd, 2012 09:19 pm
I've just spent the last weekend at the bi-annual disc world convention. As a last minute decision, I decided that I would spend the evenings there as Susan. As the decision was made about a week before the event, this naturally led to a rash of panic buying, as I went hunting for the perfect dresses. As I couldn't find anything suitable in the high street, I eventually ordered far too much from Asos and their curve collection.

Packing for the event was interesting - I ended up taking three bags with me - half a bag of electronics, half a bag of clothes for Simon, and two large bags full of clothes and other stuff for Susan.

The convention itself was fun and while at 6 foot plus in heels, I have absolutely no chance in passing, there was not a single problem over the weekend. This wasn't really a surprise, as the people running it are some of the most socially aware, pro-active and cuddly but scary when annoyed people around.

In the evenings, there are a few programme events, but it is most social, sitting around drinking and talking. These were a lot more fun than usual - I think it helped that every night I was getting compliments on my dresses, my ability to walk in heels and one night, on my hair, which had just been slightly styled to fall over one eye, ala Jessica Rabbit.

The evenings are where things get slightly ... odd. Normally, I'm the very quiet, introverted type who finds it almost impossible to talk to strangers. Susan is different. Susan will sit down next to total strangers, and start talking to them. Susan will take part in the silly games that people are playing. Susan will take part in a burlesque dance class, when Simon would look at the gender ratio and run, and just note that next time she needs to glue her tits in place. Hell, even her posture is different, Simon tends to hunch a bit, and look down, while Susan seems to walk taller and look out, rather than down, though this may simply be a side effect of the bra straps pulling.

I think the biggest thing is that Susan seems approachable and responsive to being approached, whereas Simon is more closed in, and *scared* of talking to people.

[[ Am I the only person confused here about names? There currently appears to be three people in my mind, myself, Simon and Susan, who manage to all be the same person, while at the same time Simon and Susan are masks that I show to the world. ]]

Given how successful things were at the convention, the question is what next? I like Susan, I like being Susan, and other people seem to like Susan.
Anyone who's been following my twitter feed over the last few days has probably realised that I'm writing a story. The back story to the story is rather long for going intro at the moment, but this is a fragment from it.

Basic outline to this point is that Mike has found out about a forced femme organisation, only moments before they find out about him and forcibly recruit him into their school. The school is run by Ms Sloane, and there are already 12 girls going through the school This extract happens several months down the road when Michelle (Mike) has settled down and found his inner girl.

Read more... )

Snow day

Dec. 2nd, 2010 09:52 pm
scallan: (kangaroo)
I missed work today, due to a total lack of trains between here and Clapham Junction. However, tomorrow looks sort of managable if I do the following
1. Walk to Bus station
2. Bus to West Croydon
3. Walk / bus top East Croydon
3. Train to Clapham
4. Train to Kingston

To get home, I would have to do this in reverse. All in all, it's a 2 hour journey each way, assuming that the buses and trains are actually working at 7/8 AM.

If I don't go in, I'm out of holiday, and have to take this as a second unpaid snow day.

What do I do?
Recently, I had a conversation on twitter, which went :

Them : Can't believe I'm sharing details of bikini line maintenance with someone I've met once, in a public forum. Such is the magic of Twitter.

Me: At least you have [people] saying that while I may be a perv, I'm not the *wrong* sort of perv :)

Them: that is presumably defined by others being harmed?

Me: Maybe. My default test is"informed consent". If all those involved know and agree, it's probably OK. If not, think further

This is a bit of a follow up, to add more thinking to the above, to explain things and possibly to justify my choices. It's incomplete, and posted mainly to get it out there
personal stuff about sex, pervery and right and wrong )

Just got back from seeing Fascinating Aida with Gideon Hallet and Francesca (sp?). As usual, they were great fun with a mixture of rude, humorous and poignant songs.

Everytime I come across FA, they appear to change the young blonde singer, and this time was no different. Though, since they said she had been with them for 8 years, I'm obviously not coming across them that often.

The Kings Head theatre is a tiny room behind a pub, with very close seats and little spare room for long legs. I had to sit with mine at odd angles so that I could fit. Due to being at the back of the queue to enter, our party got splitup with me and Gideon at the front and Francesca on her own near the middle of the room.

The only problem I had was that they started late, which meant they finished late, which meant I could not catch the tube, which meant I caught a slow bus, which meant I missed my train, which meant I had to take a taxi from Purley, which cost me £20. At least I now know there is a late night option to get home if I'm having a v. late London trip.

New Job

Mar. 30th, 2010 09:10 pm
After my interview with InfoShare, I had a quick phone chat with them, to sort a few things out, and I was then offered a position as a senior developer, doing C++, python and automated testing stuff. As it seemed a reasonably interesting position, and better than anything else that appeared to be coming down the line, I accepted the position, and started work last Monday.

So far, the best description of the job is "blah". I've been there for over a week, and I've done very little. I haven't even got a decent PC to use - the current one I have has 768M of RAM, and randomly attempts to install software that we can't find the install discs for. My PC should have been there the day I arrived, but it was late, and was then given to someone else, and I'm getting their second hand system, which they have spent a week cleaning up. For the of the time I've wasted, they could have bought me 2 PCs. Hopefully, once I get a workable PC, I can get some serious work done.

The people are nice, and I have already been shanghaied in squash - in my first ever game, I lost 8-4 (the 8 points I lost were due to me missing easy returns, the 4 I won were due to me accidentally creating un-returnable bounces).

Travel is a bit of an issue. Getting up at 6:30 for the 7:20 train isn't a problem, but getting home at 7:15 is, despite not having much to do in the evenings. With a bit of thinking and planning, I should be able to trip half an hour off the trip home.
Today's interview at Info Share was ... interesting. I managed to break their recruitment process.

Because I did so well on the python test they gave me (95%, the highest they'd seen), they decided to change what they were recruiting for. They had been looking for a straight C++ developer. Instead they decided to consider me for a mixed test developer / C++ developer role, to spend a few months re-working their (python based) test infrastructure, and then moving to a straight C++ developer when I get it all sorted out.
This wouldn't be a tester role - if nothing else, I'm too expensive for this.
I think I'm capable of doing what they want, and it sounds like it could be an interesting position for the months I would be doing it.

I've reworked my CV to try to make me look better, but I think it still needs a lot more 'bigging-up'. Would anyone like to comment on it?

a CV )
I've been clearing out the fun side of my wardrobe a bit, and I've thrown out about half of it, because I either don't like it, it doesn't flatter me properly or it just doesn't fit.
I now have 12 blouses and tops and 8 pairs of shoes (stiletto's, wedges and kitten heels), but only 2 skirts! I think I'm going to have to go shopping at some point.
I think fate may be playing games with me. I used to have some neighbours (OK, i still have neighbours, but not this pair). In all the time they had the misfortune to be my neighbours, I think I spoke seriously to them once, and that was to exploit them as keyholders while I was on holiday.
Since they moved out, I appear to be bumping into them on a weekly, and almost daily basis. I wonder if fate has something horrible planned for us?
Dave contemplated death. Most people only contemplate death when they, or someone they know, is about to die. All of the people that Dave knew and cared about were in perfect health, and seemed likely to live for many more years. As such, Dave was only worried about his own death. What annoyed Dave the most was that this was the fifth time this week he had been forced to contemplate his death.

In most weeks, he only had to contemplate it at most once, and in the lucky times, he only had to contemplate his death on a monthly basis. When Dave had taken the job at the storage company, he had expected it to be a relatively safe position. Okay, they had been looking for an Igor, but apart from that it had looked quite harmless. Dave should have known better.

For most people, when they consider their own death, they usually consider either how they are going to die, or if there is a heaven for them to go to after death. In Dave's case, he was contemplating the mess that he would have to clean up after his death. From the looks of it, his death was about to be a particularly messy one, and he was expecting his boss to complain about the state that it would leave the office in.

Dave stared down the huge barrel of the gun. As always, looking at a gun from this angle made the barrel look absolutely enormous. "This isn't going to help," said Dave, "you're only going to cause a mess, and that will make me very annoyed."

The person on the other end of the barrel said "Why should I be bothered about you being annoyed? You'll be dead, and any annoyance you are suffering from, will be the problem of the receiving angels."

"A number of people have expressed similar sentiments.", said Dave. "As you can see, I am still around to be annoyed by people making those comments, and most of them are dead. Okay, they have often manage to kill me, but as you can see, that rarely sticks."


Simon Callan

September 2014

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